Actually, I don't think this belongs in your portfolio. Colleges want your BEST work, and you should put in things that you're proud of, not unsure of. If you wanted to refine this, then yes, it has potential. As is, though... I don't know. It LOOKS like a quick sketch. I think you can do better.
You know, that lady with the head scarf tied like you did in the part where we were all in our pajamas in Bye Bye Birdie and she's rolling up her sleeve and she's like WE CAN DO IT!